As much as I believe that emotions don’t lie, and they reveal the truth about us in that moment, I also believe that all physical symptoms don’t lie as well; and reveal to us parts of our body that is still not allowing God’s grace and healing to work there. The unhealthy beliefs that we hold in our subconscious can be very powerful; and even if we think we have cleared most of that stuff, it might still be stuck at the cellular memory level. Sometimes the Christian perspective of suffering might be one such unhealthy belief.
My own journey of health got accelerated in the year 2009 when I went through a month of severe neuralgic pain after a bad dental session. The pain would shoot into my head from the jaw and resulted me taking pain relievers round the clock. I tried to give some meaning to the pain to make it more bearable, and came to conclude that God might be calling me to some kind of a physical suffering , so that I can be drawn closer to Him, and be part of the messianic act of love for the world if I accepted it graciously. It was only thru doing the healing codes and further reading ,that I realized that this might have been a lie about true obedience and expression of love for God.
I have come to believe that doing God’ s will is to want what He wants for us ; and that is to have life and to live it to its fullest potential that He has given us. And that my deep, unconditional and complete love and acceptance of myself is all that He asks for.
Having such a deep appreciation that I am truly God’s work of art ( He does not create junk!), and daring to live out my truth, is the greatest honour and glory that I can ever give Him. I think it is so easy to be swept by the multitude of things that I can be and should be doing to show Him honour and glory, but it might not be what is needful.
The suffering that we face is not self imposed nor God imposed, but the result of:
1.our own struggles with letting that inauthentic part of us die,
2.the resistance that we experience from world around us when the values we choose to live by is too challenging for the status quo and makes others uncomfortable,
3. the consequences of exercising our free will and that of our ancestors and our fellow men who have resulted in our bodies exposed to all kinds of different stresses.–toxins, electromagnetic pollution, disruptive chemicals, imbalances in the world as a result of global warming, dirty electricity ,contaminated waters and soils, nutritional deficiencies, excesses etc. It has been discovered that even now our babies are born with more than 250 toxins in their cord blood, and is predicted that with the impact of these toxins on our genes ( epigenetics), each generation is getting weaker, as the cumulative effects of all this assault can cross generations.
When illness persist, it does not mean that God is not willing to heal us. It might mean more that we do not think it within ourselves to ask for it or be receptive to it, or that we are not doing enough for our bodies to undo what’s wrong with it.
I too have learnt thru my life’s journey, the many twists and turns,true obedience and submission to God’s will requires true humility. To commit to the process of just doing what is right —and allowing God to take care of the rest through how the body response to this input. it is so easy to get ahead of oneself, especially when it comes to supporting others, that I have found myself in impatience and discouragement more often than not when I get caught up in the outcomes .
I say Psalm 131 every day twice a day, to remind me not to get ahead of myself, and to focus on what is needful. I allow physical/ emotional symptoms that show up in my body to guide me as to what parts of me need further healing. How else I can demonstrate that deeper love and acceptance for myself through the support that I give myself.
(1 My heart is not proud, O LORD, my eyes are not haughty; I do not concern myself with great matters or things too wonderful for me.
2 But I have stilled and quieted my soul; like a weaned child with its mother, like a weaned child is my soul within me.
3 O Israel, put your
hope in the LORD both now and forevermore)
There are many who might be caught up in the impatience of getting better so that they can get back to their old life, not realising that it is their ‘old life; that got them into their current health predicament in the first place.
‘ Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.’ Einstein